{"id":1264,"date":"2010-03-16T12:36:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-16T04:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ajia.site\/blog\/2010\/03\/16\/zuo_qing_wa_20100316\/"},"modified":"2010-03-16T12:36:00","modified_gmt":"2010-03-16T04:36:00","slug":"zuo_qing_wa_20100316","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ajia.site\/blog\/en\/2010\/03\/16\/zuo_qing_wa_20100316\/","title":{"rendered":"To be a frog or to be a toad: chat\u00adting about par\u00adent\u00ading and grow\u00ading up with a fad\u00ading romance"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\n
\n==========
\nThe fol\u00adlow\u00ading is a quote from Fad\u00ading Romance post\u00aded on 2010\u20133\u201115 22:27:09:
\n 
\nTo be a frog or to be a toad, that is the ques\u00adtion
\nAuthor: Fad\u00aded Romance
\n   
\nI final\u00adly heard Ajia read\u00ading a pic\u00adture book in per\u00adson. Before March 2010, I nev\u00ader thought that I would be able to attend the read\u00ading club of the Inspec\u00adtor and Ajia in Hefei. It turns out that the world can be so won\u00adder\u00adful.
\n   
\nBefore this, I had nev\u00ader seen the sto\u00adry of the frog and the toad from a par\u00aden\u00adt\u2019s per\u00adspec\u00adtive, but after lis\u00adten\u00ading to Aji\u00ada\u2019s sto\u00adry, I sud\u00adden\u00adly real\u00adized, \u201cSo that\u2019s how it is.\u201d It seems that I still have a long way to go in my cul\u00adti\u00adva\u00adtion.
\n   
\nHow\u00adev\u00ader, in recent years, I\u2019ve been increas\u00ading\u00adly pon\u00adder\u00ading the ques\u00adtion of whether par\u00adents are frogs or toads. I\u2019ve read about many cas\u00ades where par\u00adents do noth\u00ading, yet their chil\u00addren thrive; and many cas\u00ades where par\u00adents do a lot, yet their chil\u00addren don\u2019t nec\u00ades\u00adsar\u00adi\u00adly thrive. The rea\u00adsons for this are far from being sim\u00adply explained by genes or envi\u00adron\u00adment, nor by a blan\u00adket expla\u00adna\u00adtion of both. Just like the mas\u00adtery of any field, the ori\u00adgin of their skill is often explained by a care\u00adful exam\u00adi\u00adna\u00adtion of fate. While for\u00admu\u00adlas can cer\u00adtain\u00adly be con\u00adstruct\u00aded, com\u00adbin\u00ading numer\u00adous fac\u00adtors, it\u2019s not sim\u00adply a mat\u00adter of adding them togeth\u00ader. I remem\u00adber read\u00ading this quote some\u00adwhere: \u201cLife is what hap\u00adpens out\u00adside your plans.\u201d There\u00adfore, I think we can relax about our chil\u00addren\u2019s affairs.
\n   
\nEven if par\u00adents under\u00adstand this prin\u00adci\u00adple per\u00adfect\u00adly, they will inevitably do some\u00adthing. Why do I feel more and more like Sisy\u00adphus the more I talk about it? Haha, stop it.
\n==========
\n 
\nRe: To be a frog or to be a toad, that is the ques\u00adtion
\nAuthor: Ajia
\n 
\n   
\nHaha, things are so strange\u00adly serendip\u00adi\u00adtous. I did\u00adn\u2019t expect that the base of this trip in Hefei would be the pri\u00adma\u00adry school where your daugh\u00adter attends. What\u2019s even more coin\u00adci\u00adden\u00adtal is that we had an appoint\u00adment in the first half of last year but did\u00adn\u2019t keep it, but went this year instead :)
\n 
\n   
\nI might go again this year, and maybe even repeat\u00aded\u00adly. How it will pan out is still unknown, so I\u2019ll just have to let nature take its course.
\n 
\n   
\nI often keep \u201cFrog and Toad\u201d on my bed\u00adside book\u00adshelf, flip\u00adping through it from time to time. Each time I read it, I expe\u00adri\u00adence a dif\u00adfer\u00adent feel\u00ading, and shar\u00ading it with dif\u00adfer\u00adent friends brings me a dif\u00adfer\u00adent reward. Hong\u00adni\u00adba often vis\u00adits Run\u00adsheng Gar\u00adden in Bei\u00adjing, a veg\u00adetable gar\u00adden ded\u00adi\u00adcat\u00aded to organ\u00adic eco\u00adlog\u00adi\u00adcal agri\u00adcul\u00adture research. The own\u00ader, a Bud\u00addhist layper\u00adson and a sci\u00aden\u00adtif\u00adic expert spe\u00adcial\u00adiz\u00ading in avi\u00ada\u00adtion mate\u00adri\u00adals and con\u00adtribut\u00ading to the devel\u00adop\u00adment of author\u00adi\u00adta\u00adtive text\u00adbooks, spends his week\u00adends and free time tend\u00ading to the gar\u00adden. Their son is a year or two old\u00ader than Xiaoyin. Read\u00ading the sto\u00adry of \u201cThe Gar\u00adden\u201d brought a dif\u00adfer\u00adent kind of insight to him. He told me that West\u00adern eco\u00adlog\u00adi\u00adcal agri\u00adcul\u00adture researchers, through repeat\u00aded exper\u00adi\u00adments, have dis\u00adcov\u00adered that it is pos\u00adsi\u00adble for peo\u00adple to con\u00adnect emo\u00adtion\u00adal\u00adly with the land and crops. In oth\u00ader words, when peo\u00adple invest more gen\u00aduine emo\u00adtions in the land and crops, the yield and qual\u00adi\u00adty of the crops sig\u00adnif\u00adi\u00adcant\u00adly improve. Is this true?
\n 
\n  
\nOn the oth\u00ader hand, I was think\u00ading that the cur\u00adrent agri\u00adcul\u00adtur\u00adal struc\u00adture has grad\u00adu\u00adal\u00adly sev\u00adered the rela\u00adtion\u00adship between farm\u00aders and the land. Peo\u00adple are only using the land for a short peri\u00adod of time, and they real\u00adly don\u2019t have a deep affec\u00adtion for the land. In non-nat\u00adur\u00adal aspects, crop yields main\u00adly rely on indus\u00adtri\u00adal prod\u00aducts \u2014 pes\u00adti\u00adcides and fer\u00adtil\u00adiz\u00aders. In the long run, will human beings real\u00adly become hap\u00adpi\u00ader and hap\u00adpi\u00ader?
\n 
\n   
\nSo, at least there is always a part of me that believes (or strong\u00adly hopes) that the toad light\u00ading can\u00addles for the seeds, read\u00ading books, recit\u00ading poems, play\u00ading the violin\u2026is not com\u00adplete\u00adly in vain!
\n 
\n   
\nFur\u00adther\u00admore, a \u201cSisy\u00adphus\u201d like the toad is actu\u00adal\u00adly quite hap\u00adpy! Even if the things he did for the seeds were use\u00adless to their growth, in the process, he him\u00adself grew, and his life was enriched and improved.
\n 
\n   
\nSo the most amus\u00ading part is the last sen\u00adtence: Grow\u00ading a gar\u00adden is tru\u00adly exhaust\u00ading! \u2014 The toad\u00ad\u2019s inno\u00adcence is utter\u00adly endear\u00ading; if we use it as a mir\u00adror to reflect our\u00adselves, we real\u00adize we\u2019re just as endear\u00ading! \u2014 If we sim\u00adply shift our focus, and light can\u00addles and read in the gar\u00adden at night, recite poet\u00adry under an umbrel\u00adla in the rain, play the vio\u00adlin and sing to the nat\u00adur\u00adal world, not to stim\u00adu\u00adlate the growth of seeds but sim\u00adply for the romance of life, then how can we lament the exhaus\u00adtion of life?
\n 
\n   
\nAfter fur\u00adther com\u00adpar\u00adi\u00adson and ver\u00adi\u00adfi\u00adca\u00adtion with \u201cThe Art of Love\u201d and var\u00adi\u00adous life expe\u00adri\u00adences, my recent under\u00adstand\u00ading is that whether it is par\u00adent\u00ading, love and mar\u00adriage, or every\u00adthing in the world, if viewed from the per\u00adspec\u00adtive of art or skill, the essence of it can prob\u00ada\u00adbly still be summed up in these few words: be your\u00adself.
\n 
\n   
\nFrogs are like me, toads are like me, tired\u00adness is fine, annoy\u00adance is fine. Annoy\u00adance is exis\u00adtence.
\n 
\nOn the morn\u00ading of March 16, 2010,
\n 
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