Hel\u00adlo, Ajia: I\u2019m real\u00adly con\u00adfused late\u00adly. My son just turned six on August 30th and will start first grade in Sep\u00adtem\u00adber. He\u2019s been hav\u00ading a lot of prob\u00adlems in the first week, and I\u2019ve learned a lot about him through his teacher. Every\u00adthing I\u2019ve wor\u00adried about has hap\u00adpened to him: he has trou\u00adble pay\u00ading atten\u00adtion in class, tends to zone out, and makes small move\u00adments. He even lis\u00adtens to oth\u00ader chil\u00addren talk\u00ading to him. At first, I felt he was too young, and now I regret hav\u00ading him in a senior kinder\u00adgarten for anoth\u00ader year. He\u2019s hav\u00ading a hard time learn\u00ading pinyin. The teacher\u2019s progress is pret\u00adty fast, and he\u2019s nev\u00ader been exposed to pinyin before start\u00ading school. What should I do now? Where should I start? I think pay\u00ading atten\u00adtion in class is the most impor\u00adtant thing. He\u2019s always bought books from Red Mud, and he has\u00adn\u2019t been very inter\u00adest\u00aded in read\u00ading since he was a kid. In the evenings, I spend over two hours just teach\u00ading him, and he\u2019s exhaust\u00aded. He does\u00adn\u2019t even have time to read any\u00admore. Any advice is appre\u00adci\u00adat\u00aded. Thank you!
\n
\n <\/p>\n
\n <\/p>\n
Hel\u00adlo, Yangyang\u2019s dad! I remem\u00adber we exchanged this in this guest\u00adbook. The tran\u00adsi\u00adtion from kinder\u00adgarten to pri\u00adma\u00adry school is indeed a dif\u00adfi\u00adcult hur\u00addle for chil\u00addren, and it\u2019s no dif\u00adfer\u00adent for adults. My own expe\u00adri\u00adence is that we adults need to hold our own first.
\n <\/p>\n
Mr. Good\u00adman, the founder of the Holis\u00adtic Lan\u00adguage School, once mar\u00adveled: \u201cOnce chil\u00addren start school, they go from lan\u00adguage prodi\u00adgies to dull and strug\u00adgling learn\u00aders.\u201d This is because tra\u00addi\u00adtion\u00adal school instruc\u00adtion often dis\u00adsi\u00adpates the liv\u00ading lan\u00adguage, break\u00ading it down into frag\u00adment\u00aded seg\u00adments, forc\u00ading stu\u00addents to rely on tedious mem\u00ado\u00adriza\u00adtion. For exam\u00adple, how impor\u00adtant is pinyin to the use of Chi\u00adnese? Just look at us adults and you\u2019ll see: it\u2019s cer\u00adtain\u00adly help\u00adful, but not cru\u00adcial, at least not a cru\u00adcial com\u00adpo\u00adnent. Yet, once chil\u00addren enter school to learn a lan\u00adguage, they must begin with such a dif\u00adfi\u00adcult start, and those who can\u2019t keep up are con\u00adsid\u00adered \u201cidiots.\u201d If that were the stan\u00addard, most adults walk\u00ading down the street today would be con\u00adsid\u00adered \u201cidiots\u201d (if you don\u2019t believe me, just ask them to com\u00adpete with a sec\u00adond-term first-grad\u00ader in pinyin, haha).
\n <\/p>\n
But hon\u00adest\u00adly, pinyin is very impor\u00adtant for first-grade chil\u00addren. Why is it so impor\u00adtant? (This is the key point I men\u00adtioned that needs to be \u201cgrasped firm\u00adly\u201d) \u2014 its impor\u00adtance lies sole\u00adly in the fact that learn\u00ading pinyin will affect chil\u00addren\u2019s con\u00adfi\u00addence and mood. So, if we can under\u00adstand this, we have two options: one is to help chil\u00addren learn pinyin very hap\u00adpi\u00adly and rel\u00ada\u00adtive\u00adly quick\u00adly; the oth\u00ader is to help them build con\u00adfi\u00addence and main\u00adtain a hap\u00adpy mood regard\u00adless of whether they can learn pinyin that quick\u00adly, because this is the foun\u00adda\u00adtion for a child\u2019s hap\u00adpy life and to ensure con\u00adtin\u00adued and effec\u00adtive learn\u00ading. Pinyin itself is not impor\u00adtant. So, if you tru\u00adly feel it is dif\u00adfi\u00adcult to teach your child pinyin hap\u00adpi\u00adly and quick\u00adly, then sim\u00adply focus on the sec\u00adond option. Oth\u00ader\u00adwise, the sit\u00adu\u00ada\u00adtion will only get worse.
\n <\/p>\n
I remem\u00adber meet\u00ading a Tai\u00adwanese ele\u00admen\u00adtary school teacher (also pur\u00adsu\u00ading a PhD in chil\u00addren\u2019s lit\u00ader\u00ada\u00adture). She explained that for the first month with first graders, she bare\u00adly had any for\u00admal class\u00ades. She pri\u00admar\u00adi\u00adly read pic\u00adture books to her stu\u00addents and played var\u00adi\u00adous games. I was sur\u00adprised and asked how she ulti\u00admate\u00adly accom\u00adplished this task. She explained that after read\u00ading par\u00adtic\u00adu\u00adlar\u00adly engag\u00ading books to the chil\u00addren for a while, they became incred\u00adi\u00adbly fond of her, will\u00ading to lis\u00adten and active\u00adly coop\u00ader\u00adate. So, when she began for\u00admal teach\u00ading again, she could teach them every\u00adthing she want\u00aded.
\n <\/p>\n
The ide\u00adal appli\u00adca\u00adtion of this approach, of course, would be to pro\u00admote it to teach\u00aders like Yangyang. If teach\u00aders were will\u00ading to begin their learn\u00ading jour\u00adneys this way with new stu\u00addents, those chil\u00addren would be will\u00ading to lis\u00adten, enjoy learn\u00ading, and nat\u00adu\u00adral\u00adly, gen\u00ader\u00adal\u00adly devel\u00adop con\u00adsid\u00ader\u00adable self-con\u00adfi\u00addence. Isn\u2019t that right? \u2014 How\u00adev\u00ader, I believe it\u2019s dif\u00adfi\u00adcult to expect teach\u00aders to do this right now. Most teach\u00aders pre\u00adfer that chil\u00addren be self-suf\u00adfi\u00adcient, ide\u00adal\u00adly hav\u00ading mas\u00adtered pinyin and basic lit\u00ader\u00ada\u00adcy by kinder\u00adgarten (which would make the teach\u00ading task eas\u00adi\u00ader). There\u00adfore, teach\u00aders lav\u00adish\u00adly praise fast learn\u00aders, per\u00adhaps to the point of inflat\u00ading their con\u00adfi\u00addence. Mean\u00adwhile, they con\u00adstant\u00adly pres\u00adsure slow learn\u00aders and their par\u00adents, until the par\u00adents\u2019 con\u00adfi\u00addence in their chil\u00addren and the chil\u00addren\u2019s con\u00adfi\u00addence in them\u00adselves steadi\u00adly declines, to the point where they final\u00adly real\u00adize, \u201cIt\u2019s their own stu\u00adpid\u00adi\u00adty, not the teacher\u2019s,\u201d and thus feel reas\u00adsured. \u2014 Of course, even such teach\u00aders may feel well-inten\u00adtioned, because they often face extreme\u00adly unfair pres\u00adsure.
\n <\/p>\n
So what should we do? There\u2019s a say\u00ading I often quote: \u201cOne good father is worth a hun\u00addred good prin\u00adci\u00adpals.\u201d Again, if we have our own con\u00adfi\u00addence, we can help our chil\u00addren accord\u00ading to nor\u00admal edu\u00adca\u00adtion\u00adal and devel\u00adop\u00admen\u00adtal prin\u00adci\u00adples, bal\u00adanc\u00ading the rela\u00adtion\u00adship between school and home. School can have a sig\u00adnif\u00adi\u00adcant impact on chil\u00addren, but the fam\u00adi\u00adly is the most cru\u00adcial influ\u00adence. A child\u2019s self-con\u00adfi\u00addence is pri\u00admar\u00adi\u00adly influ\u00adenced by their fam\u00adi\u00adly; their will\u00ading\u00adness to lis\u00adten and their abil\u00adi\u00adty to pay atten\u00adtion when spo\u00adken to (includ\u00ading in class) are also large\u00adly influ\u00adenced by their fam\u00adi\u00adly. For exam\u00adple, we need to deter\u00admine whether the child receives more encour\u00adage\u00adment, praise, appro\u00adpri\u00adate eval\u00adu\u00ada\u00adtion, and pos\u00adi\u00adtive affir\u00adma\u00adtion at home, or more crit\u00adi\u00adcism, urg\u00ading, and neg\u00ada\u00adtive nega\u00adtion. Fur\u00adther\u00admore, read\u00ading aloud to chil\u00addren, espe\u00adcial\u00adly books they par\u00adtic\u00adu\u00adlar\u00adly enjoy and that put them in a joy\u00adful mood, is extreme\u00adly help\u00adful in devel\u00adop\u00ading their lis\u00adten\u00ading skills. To be more spe\u00adcif\u00adic, for exam\u00adple, if we can already allo\u00adcate two hours to help our chil\u00addren learn pinyin, we can split those two hours up, reduc\u00ading the time ded\u00adi\u00adcat\u00aded to pinyin learn\u00ading to half an hour. We can then use anoth\u00ader half an hour to share uplift\u00ading books with our chil\u00addren, anoth\u00ader half an hour for games or exer\u00adcise, and anoth\u00ader half an hour for a walk and con\u00adver\u00adsa\u00adtion out\u00addoors. You may find that the effect of learn\u00ading pinyin in half an hour is no less than two hours, and may even be greater.
\n <\/p>\n
I remem\u00adber my daugh\u00adter\u2019s first week at school was pret\u00adty rough. She even told me she secret\u00adly cried in the class\u00adroom on her first day. Then one day she was real\u00adly unhap\u00adpy and would\u00adn\u2019t tell me why. I sud\u00adden\u00adly remem\u00adbered a pic\u00adture book I was review\u00ading for a friend at the time\u2014a real\u00adly cheer\u00adful one. So I asked her, \u201cDo you feel real\u00adly unlucky today?\u201d She nod\u00added. I said, \u201cLet me tell you a sto\u00adry. The per\u00adson in the sto\u00adry is def\u00adi\u00adnite\u00adly more unlucky than you, believe it?\u201d She was nat\u00adu\u00adral\u00adly curi\u00adous, so I read the book to her. The sto\u00adry was about a beau\u00adti\u00adful spring day. As the mole was about to leave his hole for some fresh air, a pile of poop land\u00aded on his head. Poor Mole, he was near\u00adsight\u00aded and could\u00adn\u2019t even see who it was! And so the sto\u00adry began\u2026 For a few days, we read \u201cWho Pulled on My Head\u201d every day, laugh\u00ading hearti\u00adly and feel\u00ading thank\u00adful that we weren\u2019t that unlucky after all. As for why my daugh\u00adter was so unhap\u00adpy dur\u00ading that peri\u00adod, I did\u00adn\u2019t both\u00ader to ask any\u00admore.
\n <\/p>\n
I see home as a child\u2019s fortress, a place where she can ful\u00adly enjoy love, com\u00adplete secu\u00adri\u00adty, and com\u00adplete trust. Whether she excels out\u00adside of this fortress is her own busi\u00adness, and I believe she will even\u00adtu\u00adal\u00adly find her place. Regard\u00adless of whether she excels, as long as she returns to this fortress, she will still enjoy love, com\u00adplete secu\u00adri\u00adty, and com\u00adplete trust. I am respon\u00adsi\u00adble for the strength of this fortress. Home is not a school.
\n <\/p>\n
A final note: For chil\u00addren who are about to enter the tran\u00adsi\u00adtion peri\u00adod from kinder\u00adgarten to pri\u00adma\u00adry school, and are prepar\u00ading to start their stud\u00adies in the reg\u00adu\u00adlar school sys\u00adtem, I think par\u00adents, if pos\u00adsi\u00adble, can help their chil\u00addren famil\u00adiar\u00adize them\u00adselves with pinyin. It\u2019s also a good idea to incor\u00adpo\u00adrate some lit\u00ader\u00ada\u00adcy activ\u00adi\u00adties into the rich and enjoy\u00adable par\u00adent-child read\u00ading process. This is main\u00adly to avoid unnec\u00ades\u00adsary con\u00adfi\u00addence set\u00adbacks for chil\u00addren when they first start school. Cur\u00adrent\u00adly, most teach\u00aders assume that chil\u00addren have already start\u00aded learn\u00ading pinyin and lit\u00ader\u00ada\u00adcy before start\u00ading school, so they design a faster ini\u00adtial teach\u00ading sched\u00adule. How\u00adev\u00ader, if the psy\u00adcho\u00adlog\u00adi\u00adcal qual\u00adi\u00adty of the child and the par\u00adents is strong enough, it does\u00adn\u2019t real\u00adly mat\u00adter. It\u2019s just a triv\u00adial mat\u00adter. :)<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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